4th of July Dance Moves

A perfect way to kick off America’s 232nd Birthday.

Let freedom promenade!

Romney & McCain: Together Again

Speculation in Washington is that Mitt Romney is a strong contender for the Veep slot in the McCain Presidency. Romney is an accomplished businessman who successfully bought out companies and gave thousands of ordinary Americans another chance to look for a job. As governor of Massachusetts, he presided over thousands of gay marriages in spirit. His acute business acumen, tethered with his strong social values will make him the clear choice.

The electoral map will drastically change by putting Arizona, Utah, and Idaho, battleground states all, firmly into the McCain column. Moreover, Romney’s 15 sons will provide a youthful presence on the trail and, to the hope of Republican strategists, provide a check to the hotness of Barack Hussein Obama. Polls conducted by the Blog have shown that 100 percent of respondents approved of the pick and believe a landslide is in order (S=1 MOE +/- 0). With such public fervor, a battle of epic proportions is coming. Mark your calendars.

Barack Hussein Obama too Good Looking for Presidency

A while back a reporter asked this to the presidential hopeful.

The Saturday Evening Blog knows first hand what it’s like to be in the presence of Barack Hussein Obama. He is way too good looking. After multiple meetings it becomes apparent that, borrowing from ol’ timey language, the sexy needs to be put back. The Cuban Missile Crisis only happened because Khrushchev was jealous of Kennedy. Many historians agree that if Nixon were president, his lack of good looks would have liberated Cuba.

Seeing Barack Hussein Obama in person, you know nothing will get done. People look in his eyes and follow him like Muhammad (peace be upon him) from Mecca to Medina, and to the gates of hell if needed. Yet, it’s unlikely hell has oil. God knows the robber barons have tried already. You may drive around in his volvo, eat arugula, and live in the elitist Hyde Park, Chicago.  But in the end, he’ll just dump the whole country for his wife. Why go through the hurt? 

Guns for All

The Supreme Court ruled last week in District of Columbia v. Heller that americans have a fundamental right to bear arms in the second amendment. The 5-4 decision was a blow to gun-control advocates and fringe reactionaries. The vast majority of Americans, however, cannot wait to purchase the Glock that was once denied to them. Washington D.C., now void of any firearms, will once more enjoy the smell of gunpowder as the bounty of triggers, scopes, and assault rifles rain down on gun-thirsty citizens. No more will youth venture out at night without protection, while mother stays home and watches the flock while father is toiling for years in the clink. Now son and mother will join father in the joy of gun ownership: a joy future generations of D.C. residents will come cherish. Soon, the streets of Chicago, New York, and Los Angeles will be paved with good intentions and spent shells. It’s morning in America again.