In what is certain to be a giant leap in his computer literacy, John McCain has successfully mastered the Speak n’ Spell interface circa 1978. McCain entered the words ‘boot’, ‘president’, and ‘hot dog’ successfully and were subsequently sprached back at him to his wild enjoyment. The Blog has decided to keep track of future-President McCain’s progress in technology with it’s new feature “One Giant Leap for Him: The Quest to Block a Pop-Up.” Stay tuned.

McCain’s Campaign Agenda with Human Skin Binding (Conceptual)

Senator Barack Hussein Obama today laid out his surrender to Iraq plan today. According to the recent New Yorker cover, our worst fears have come into fruition. With now documented, and illustrated, proof of Obama’s sorrid life finally coming to light, how will President McCain get us out of Iraq while not really leaving? His campaign said they’ll get back to us on that because they have this big book where they keep his plan. We here believe it’s an ol’ timey tome past down through generations of republicans since the waning days of the second millenium. That and it’s made of human skin.

He isn’t…as far as we know…

Former NATO commander Wesley Hussein Clark (Pictured, quite gay in the ol’ timey meaning) questioned John McCain’s experience when he said that having your plane shot down doesn’t make you qualified to be president. Ever since, he has been denounced in many circles including this one. In this election, McCain’s experience of being shot down and held as POW is more relevant than it has ever been in his political career.

In an such a hostile political environment for the Republican Party, their candidate has to withstand a lot of flak. Not only has McCain withstood flak, he still has some of that flak in him. Moreover, he has been through a nose dive just as bad as the coming election that he might just win come November. And if he does, he can withstand the torture of a democratic congress. He likes torture, he likes it so much he stayed a POW even when given the chance to leave. In fact, he believes in torture so much he supports the United States to use it on our enemies, to which the Blog agrees with him because it builds character.

So General Clark should watch his back. President McCain may shove a bamboo shoot up his ass if he ain’t looking.